Diets that really work
New Year’s resolutions always seem to be a bit of a joke. How many of you can put your hand up and honestly admit that you are likely to still be keeping them by the end of February? I think that they must have been thought up by someone who reckoned it would keep us all busy and amused throughout the dreary winter months, making us forget about the credit card bills from Christmas arriving on the doormat.
It’s easy for people to say that they won’t drink and eat as much – but this depends on your point of view. Whether we decide that we won’t drink and eat as much as we did in December (remember all the parties and Christmas lunches?) or that we are all so short of the readies after buying up “Toys R Us” that we resort to whatever is left in the back of the larder – by the way can someone be good enough to tell me what I do with pickled walnuts?
In the first few weeks of January the newspapers and magazines are full of the latest diets, with TV celebrities telling their amazing story of how they lost weight. They want to show you that you can lose that extra stone that’s been hanging around with you since you gave birth to quadruplets and how having your own fitness trainer really helps.
Well’s that fine for the Sally Morgan and Carol Vordermans of this world. I’m not sure I’ve got the stomach to detox for 28 days with Carol’s chickpea soup, millet pasta and pumpkin seeds – yum yum. Sally has been keeping herself busy with her personal trainer and making a dvd, she has lost a lot of weight combining a low-fat health diet and fat-burning exercise – what a surprise, I don’t think I’m learning anything new here.
As an average Mum, who as a teenager aspired to having a figure like Cindy Crawford, despite having hips that make midwives lives easier and being about six inches shorter than her, I’ve come to an important decision. I think I’m going to have to put up with the real me. I start these bizarre diets but the problem is sticking to them. When my daughter offers me half a fish finger already dunked in ketchup or my son sits in front of the box with a bag of peanuts, the urge to join them is irresistible.
And where are Carol and Sally for support when I need them most? I’d much rather be ploughing my way through my latest Jamie cook book or working on one of Delia’s little delights for something really tasty. Never mind there’s always next year – and no doubt there are celebrities already working on their diets – maybe “Lose that muffin top with Dawn French!”, who knows?
By Juliet Young
Category: Features
